JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE
[size=
]What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
[size=
]What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
[size=
]What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
[size=
]Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
[size=
]What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
[size=
]What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
[size=
]What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
[size=
]What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
[size=
]What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
[size=
]Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
[size=
]Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
[size=
]Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
[size=
]What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
[size=
]What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
[size=
]Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
[size=
]Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
[size=
]Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
[size=
]Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
[size=
]Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
[size=
]How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
[size=
]
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A southern fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
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